Memorial Sex Woman Pushing Britain Toward Littlejohn State Of Mind
THE war memorial sex woman and her verminous consort are in danger of making sane people think like Daily Mail columnists, it emerged last night.
Tom Logan, an English teacher from Finsbury Park, said: "Before this happened I was opposed to capital punishment for anything. Now there's like 18 things on my list. Nope, sorry - 19 - I forgot 'looking a bit shifty'."
He added: "Last night I dreamed I was drinking in an idyllic country pub with Richard Littlejohn. We talked at length, agreeing enthusiastically about child molesters, prostitutes and wheelie bins. And then we smashed the windows of a nearby arts centre where some perfectly nice lesbians were doing a play called 'Africa's Ovaries' at my expense.
"I feel more conflicted than Anakin Skywalker."
Librarian Emma Bradford, who owns Dido CDs and recycles jumper fluff, said: "I do wish I could stop myself thinking that she should have her mouth filled with baby rats and he should have his penis put through a mangle.
"Surely there are socio-cultural reasons why someone urinates and performs an unnervingly ambiguous-sounding 'sex act' on a war memorial, before telling some old men who fought against Hitler to fuck off.
"My husband thinks there is, but I'm starting to think he's a mealy-mouthed, turtleneck-wearing gayboy."
She added: "I've just had my hair done a bit like Jan Moir's.
"And I like it."
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