IS BRITAIN USING AUTO-MORON?

Is Britain Using Auto-Moron?

23-08-10

BRITAIN is using state-of-the-art audio visual technology to make itself even more moronic, it was claimed last night.

The Large Moronic Frontal Lobe goes pretty much all the way to the back as well. And down the sides.

Experts say 'auto-moron' is being deployed in the corner of most British living rooms. It consists of a screen between 20 and 46 inches wide, has two speakers, is connected to an 'aerial' or 'dish' and is controlled using a 'doo-da'.

Fears of widespread auto-moron use were raised at the weekend after millions of people across the country gave credibility to a singing contest being judged by Geri Halliwell and Cheryl Cole.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, explained: "The auto-moron beams modulated frequencies at the Large Moronic Frontal Lobe until it reaches a pitch-perfect state of cretinosity.

"The most effective moronification wavelengths are singing contests, dancing contests, celebrity pie-making contests and 24 hour news."

He added: "The most frustrating thing about auto-moron is that it's so unnecessary. Because of the Daily Mail."

Emma Bradford, from Stevenage, said: "Most of the time I'm just an enthusiastic amateur moron who reads Jan Moir, but look what happens when I press a button on the doo-da...

"Good singing. Bad singing. Simon's in a funny mood tonight. They're really good at the dancing, I'll bet they're having the sex."

She added: "Nick Clegg seems like a nice man. Did you know that marmalade gives you Alzheimers? And it's not like the world's going to run out of Pakistanis.

"Oooooh, what a lovely pie."